Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Talkin 'Bout Friendssssss Foreverrrrrrrr........

Alas.... we are married!!! Everything was beautiful and went better than I could have hoped. I wont bore you with the details.... thats not what this post is about. Its about friendship. 
None of the events from the last week would have ran as smoothly as they did without the help from my friends. From day one they were there asking me what they could do. They listened to me cry, whine and bitch and never once hung up on me. As I changed my mind about EVERYTHING a minimum of 77 times, they never once avoided me or "accidentally lost my number". They did the set up for the reception as I was running 40 minutes late, setting up tables and organizing everything. And they were the last ones to leave with me after cleaning it all up.

It really doesnt matter how long Ive known them, they all are special to me. I havent kept in contact with them like I should, but you know that overly used quote on facebook "It is said that true friends can go for a long time without speaking and never question the friendship. These types of friends pick up like it was just yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live and they don't hold grudges. They understand life is busy but you will always love them."..... yeah. Whoever said that knows how life gets. 

Its funny... I always miss my friends. Like, everyday. But I didnt understand exactly HOW MUCH I missed them until they left. This even goes for friends who live closer.... we dont get together enough. Or talk enough. (Or if youre like me, text enough). 

I know not all of my amazing friends could be here this past weekend. And I love them all the same. Im going to make more of an effort to be in better contact with the fabulous people in my life.... Ask yourself the same question... "Could I be closer with my friends?" Theyre always going to be there for you.... even when youre pushing crazy, indecisive bridezilla status. :)

To my friends: I love you. Thanks for putting up my my crazy ass. Youre all winners.

In the end.... its all about love. Ya dig?

"We met some time ago
When we were so young
We've been through thick and thin
We lost, we've tied, we've won

Friends Forever (We'll be friends forever)
With you everywhere (With you everywhere)
Friends forever (We'll be friends)
Always will be friends (Always will be friends)

If you're down,
I'll pick you up,
I'll never let you fall.
If you ever need someone,
I'm waiting for your call.

Friends Forever (We'll be friends)
With you everywhere
Talkin bout Friends forever (Always will be there)
We'll be there (We'll be there)

Through it all, hangin' tough,
We'll stay side by side.
We'll be friends forever,
Til' the end of time.

Friends Forever (We'll be friends)
With you everywhere
Talkin bout Friends forever (Always will be there)
We'll be there (We'll be there)
Yeah, yeah friends. (Friends forever)
Always be friends. (With you everywhere)
We'll be friends together. (Friends forever)
Yes we will, (Always will be there there)
Yes we will, (Will be there)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oohhhh."

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

How to Comment on This Here Little Bloggy Thingy

Its no secret... I LOOOOOVE feedback. I love comments, I love emails. I love it all.

Some of you have told me youre having trouble commenting and its not letting you post. There are a few "rules" I guess you could say to posting. Ill point them outwith links that will make it easier for you to comment.

The first way to comment is by having a google account.I say the easiest way is to get a gmail address, you can use that for anything and it connects you to the whole Google universe! You can get a gmail account by clicking Here.

Another way is by having a livejournal, which is like an online diary. I love sites like this. You can get one by clicking Here.

You can also have a woodpress blog account. Looking back it may have been easier for me to have this blog on wordpress, making it easier for a lot of things. I may at some point convert this blog to wordpress, but for right now Im happy here at Blogger. :) You can get a wordpress blog by clicking Here.

Another way is by having a typepad blog. Im not too familiar with them, but you can learn more by clicking Here.

If you have an AIM account that will also make you able to comment. AIM is a messenger service that some people use. If youre interested you can find out more by clicking Here.

Almost done, I promise!!!

The final way seems pretty cool, if I must be honest. Its called OpenID and it looks like you use one sign in for many sites. Ill have to make myself familiar with it, but you can sign up by clicking Here.

I hope that helps. Personally- I would say gmail is the best way to go... but thats just me. Im sorry youre basically forced to sign up for another account just to comment, but comments are fun! And lets face it, peer pressure is real. And all the cool kids comment. Just sayin......

Sunday, October 9, 2011


Thats me. And thats something rare that youll see in any picture of me; a true, genuine smile.
My family and friends are the best. Im just gonna put that out there. Let me brag about them for a minute....

My wedding is this weekend. Ive still got quite a bit to do (Remember, Im the Queen of Procrastinators ), and Ive been fairly stressed. I believe it was Maceys idea to throw a bridal shower.

Its not easy to surprise me. I pick up on things pretty quick and figure things out... I like to think im smart like that. BUT... these amazing people planned the most fabulous surprise shower ever!!!

I grew up in Pennsylvania (remember from this post, "soda"not "pop") and most of my family is still there. My AMAZING future mother in law went thru the trouble of contacting my family and friends and set it up to where they would call me during the shower.Seriously.... how awesome is she?!? I was overwhelmed and had a minor ugly cry moment, but it was because I was so touched.

Everyone had gone out of their way to make this special for me and I couldnt even begin to thank them. I only hope that they come and have the best time ever this weekend.

Im so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

To everyone who had a part in anything related to this shower and weekend, thank you from the super depths of my heart. Youre the best and I am SO blessed to have you all in my life. 

Enough mushiness. Now go grab a tissue and pat yourselves on the back. Go on... Ill wait.....

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Importance of October (For Mom)

The month of October is a special one for me and my family. Its not my birthday or a special family holiday. Its not an anniversary or anything like that.... October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Domestic violence is so common.... SO COMMON in fact that one in four women will experience it at some point in their lives. One in four- 25%!! Thats outrageous!! And that doesnt include men. (In 2005 there were 78,180 reported cases of men who were abused by their partners- heterosexual and homosexual)

The reason why this month is so important to my family is because my mother (That beautiful woman you see above) lost her life to domestic violence.

Im not going to put every detail here, that would take forever. But its extremely important for me to point out a few things here. At the risk of sounding preachy, I strongly urge you to read and take something from this. Thats all I ask....

I never saw my mom get hit. Most people associate domestic violence with black eyes and bruises.... which is accurate. But you rarely hear about the verbal or emotional abuse. For years my mother endured hurtful words and constant threats. My father was a controlling and intimidating person. He stood 6'5" and had to have weighed a good 300 at least. Everyone, especially kids, were scared of him.

One of the worst memories I have as a kid was the day he took a hammer to every tv in the house and used a knife to slice open my moms waterbed.I must have been 6 or 7. And then there was the time my mom and him were fighting so bad that my brother, sister and I locked ourselves in the bedroom with our backs against the door scared to move. We ended up calling my Gram. That wasnt a good day.

For years my Mother was told she wasnt allowed to work, so she stayed home and we survived on welfare because he didnt work either. Finally, fed up, she got a job doing what she loved- helping people. Because she was away from work doing her job more than 40 hours a week my father grew jealous and became more and more controlling. She had finally had enough and left after a final straw fight. That night in May of 1996 (I was 12) we spent the night sleeping in the car. My mom parked in the parking lot of the hospital because she knew we would be safe there.

We stayed with family members for the next few weeks, but he would always find us. He would stalk my mom and drive by wherever she was.It was all about control. And when she left him he always said "If I cant have you, no one can."

My mom had gotten a Protection From Abuse (PFA) almost immediately and whenever he would violate it she would call the police. They didnt even show up every time. They urged her to go to the local womens shelter, which we did. We stayed there for 3 weeks. It  was uncomfortable and scary. He still found a way to terrorize my mom, once he put sugar in her gas tank of her car.

My brother, sister and I would visit with him every Sunday because we were afraid of what he would do if we didnt. One time we were there and he showed us 3 guns that he kept behind a pillow on his daybed. He said he wasnt afraid to use them on my mom. For the first time in my life I spoke up to him "If someone hurts my mom I WILL hurt them" I told him. Ill never forget him giving me an icy look and replying "Then Ill have to hurt you, too." Who says that to their child?

A few weeks later my life changed forever.

June 23, 1996. I spent the night at my cousins house, telling my mom before I left the night before "Bye Mom, I love you. See you Sunday". My sister decided she didnt want to go see him that day and the car wasnt running. My mom started walking with my brother to have him spend the day with my father. She saw his car and he picked up my little brother. My brother was dropped off at the house and nobody knows what happened next.

My cousin and I were taken to my uncles friends house that day to swim. Little did I knew that as I was swimming having fun my mom was being ripped away forever.

The story that was told is after picking her up my father took my mother to the railroad tracks in town. They had some sort of a scuffle and she used her pepper spray on him. He pulled out a gun and shot her twice before one more shot, execution style.

I like to think she passed away quickly and didnt suffer, but I dont know. As my uncle told me the news I couldnt even cry. I was completely numb. 15 years later and Im STILL numb. My best friend, my mom was gone.Every little girl needs her mom, and mine was gone.

In the years since my father was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole before dying in 1999. His cause of death was related to diabetes and he was considered "geriatric". It didnt seem fair.

Like I said, I dont recall her ever getting hit. I do remember her being told she was worthless and stupid. That she would never make it without him. And its easy for me to get angry and wonder why she didnt pick up and leave.... why she didnt make a new life for us. But its not my place to judge her for that. She did what she thought was best for us, her children.

I like to think I turned out ok after all that, but I have a lot of stuff to deal with. I still have nightmares. I get sick to my stomach when I see railroad tracks and I have paranoia that Ill be murdered or attacked. A LOT of my childhood memories are gone. And the worst part is I forget things about my mom. Like, I forget her voice sometimes. I forget what it felt like when she hugged me. I forget things she would say. I forget how she smelled..... The one thing that sticks in my mind is her laugh. Thats unforgettable. :)

Sharing this story is painful, but its important. I cant let my moms story be forgotten and I cant sit back while so many people suffer. I know for a fact that there is someone reading this that is being abused. Whether its physical, verbal or emotional..... I know it and you know it. Im standing here BEGGING YOU to look at your situation and evaluate it. Are you being abused? What is stopping you from getting help?

The Domestic Violence Helpline is an amazing source for info and help. Ive called this hotline myself for advice and theyre great. You can visit their website here. (***Please only click the link if you are using a computer or phone that a possible abuser doesnt have access to, as they may be able to see you were looking for help.***)

The hotline is 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-SAFE)

If you or someone you know is being abuse please consider your options. My moms story is sadly not uncommon. It CAN happen to you.

Dolores J. Wilson
March 22, 1954 - June 23, 1996 

(c)2009 At Home With Tabitha. Based in Wordpress by wpthemesfree Created by Templates for Blogger