A Moms Confession...

BAM. There you go. Tat is Miss Tabitha in all her glory. Au naturel, if you will. No make up. No coverup. No shaped brows. No retouching (bc Im not smart enough to learn how to use any retouching tools on here).... it's just me.


And while Im pretty ok with my "natural self" most of the time, I feel like Ive taken a turn to the "Mom Look". Dont take any disrespect, fellow moms, I only mean that I am much more likely to leave the house looking like this (or worse) these days then pre-baby.


When I was younger I loved getting dressed up and playing around with make-up. Nowadays when I leave the house I TRY to put on cover up and bronzer. Thats it. And I rarely use a mirror. Im beginning to believe Ive gotten too comfortable in my "lax" look.


Im ready to feel pretty again and actually give a crap about what I look like. When getting ready to leave the house at any given time, as Im getting dressed and throwing some gel in my hair, Im also brushing my teeth and helping Delaney brush hers, while also choosing her outfit and combing her hair. Its unreal how much one human can do at once!


Youve seen what I look like now.... this is what I looked like 3 years ago, in Oct of 2008 (8 months before getting pregnant) - Dont make fun of my fake modeling- I could totally rock it back then!!!

Now...... time to make some changes. Any other moms feel like theyve gotten too comfortable in the "mom look" and ready to go back to the look theyve had before??? I cant be alone here!

Tabitha: Queen of Procrastinators

18 Days. That's how long before Ill be legally married to that man right up there.It's funny because if you asked me just a year ago I would tell you that there was no way in hell I would ever get married again.


Yeah, you heard me right. "Again". I married for the first time on November 26, 2004. Its was 10 days after my 21st birthday. I was convinced I was in love with this boy. I moved from my home state of Pennsylvania (Williamsport, yay!) to northern Indiana to be with him. Out of respect for all parties involved, I wont air our dirty laundry online for everyone to see. What I will say is that we were both young and didnt know what was right for us. We didnt know each other and rushed into something we never should have.


My first wedding was thrown together easily. Before I even met my ex husband, I had attended a bridal expo and won the grand prize - a wedding reception in the nicest hotel in town. They did everything for me and all I had to do was bring a cake and tell them what food to serve. The best part of the whole night was having my Uncle perform the ceremony. That meant more to me than anything. It was beautiful and although my wedding to my ex is no more, Ill always have that beautiful ceremony.


Now.... this time around...


Im getting married in less than 3 weeks. I dont have much done. I like to say I "work well under pressure", but I think its more like Im "a procrastinator who doesnt know when to start things". Maybe I think it will magically throw itself together, I dont know. I had a brief vision at the beginning of the planning process of a beautiful Old Hollywood Glamour theme, that I thought I could pull off with my tiny budget. Everything slowly got condensed until we reached a solution that worked for us.


We're having a small courthouse "ceremony" and a bigger reception at a park. It should be easier to plan that way... or I hope anyway! I was a little disappointed at first... I wanted a ceremony and vows and whatever.... BUT I really feel like what were doing is the way that suits us, which is most important.Plus- at the end of the day we will be just as married as a couple who went all out on their special day.


So, Im kind of the opposite of a stressed out bride. Im more of a .... "pull it together at the last minute and hope it turns out ok" kind of bride.


And Im ok with that. :)

A Rant: Child Pagent Edition

This adorable picture got Miss Delaney 7th place in the Parents magazine photo search. (Which I chose not to dispute, even tho she was #3 every day until the end results) I know my kids are the cutest things around, but Ive been known to be biased. :)


I havent entered any more pictures to any contests since, but that doesnt mean I never will. While I am open to entering pictures of my children to verified contests, I would never enter them in any child beauty pagents.


I understand how hypocritical this is of me, and I understand that some parents put their children in pagents. I wont judge them for it. What bothers me are the crazy people it shows on shows like Toddlers In Tiaras that force their children to grow up and dress them up like college age girls heading to a club.


There were 2 stories in the news recently regarding controversy in child pagents. One involved a mother who used a butt enhancer and fake c-cup breasts on her 4 year old (Read the story here) and another mother who dressed her 3 year old as the prostitute Julia Roberts played in Pretty Woman (Read the story here).


Now... in a land where sex offenders roam and pedophiles search for kiddie pictures online every day, why are these parents offering their children as "bait"??


I know not all of you will agree with me, and thats fine. And I probably should have made this a HBT (Go back a few posts to learn more about HBTs), but I had to rant about this. And again, i may seem like a hypocrite after entering photos of my child in a contest, but we all know these 2 things arent the same at all.


In closing, I know Im not alone in what I think of these pagents. But what do YOU think?

Who Wants To Win a Baby?

I have wanted to be a Mommy my whole life. Even as a little kid I would prefer playing with baby dolls over Barbies, and a lot of the time my Barbie dolls would have baby bellies. I had taken more pregnancy tests over my lifetime than I can count. The second I got married to my now ex-husband I was ready to have a baby. After 6 months of no positive tests I had gone to see a doctor. He showed little interest in helping me conceive, looking back he must've seen what I didnt in that relationship. Regardless, I still ached for a baby.


I found another doctor who had diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). According to the US library of medicine, olycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones. This hormone imbalance may cause changes in the menstrual cycle, skin changes, small cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other problems.


I had the trouble getting pregnant, and I also had my fair share of ovarian cysts (one as big as a golf ball). I was devastated by the diagnosis and all but given up on getting pregnant. The fact that my marriage was falling apart was all I needed to give up.


Fast forward 4 years and I found myself dating this really cool guy named Joe. He was a nerdy guy with the most beautiful blue eyes... I fell pretty hard. Anyway, I was on the pill just to be safe, we weren't ready for a baby - we'd only been dating less than a year! I wasn't supposed to get pregnant easily anyhow.


It's funny how life has a way of throwing you curve balls. In July 2009 I had what can only be described as a "funny feeling". I took a test, which was negative just as I expected. The girls I was working with at the time were teasing me about being pregnant constantly. I laughed at them and even bought a cheap pregnancy test at the dollar store to prove to them I wasnt with child and maybe the issue could be put to rest. On July 28 I noticed my breasts (boobs are what I wanted to say, but "breasts" sounds much more mature, right?) were hurting. I chalked it up to my period coming soon and we about my business. There was no better time to take the test and laugh in the faces of my coworkers for being wrong. So, i went into the bathroom, peed in a cup, used the dropper (What?!? The test was only $1) and let the test rest on a wad of toilet paper as I started washing my hands. I saw the control line show immediately. That was nothing new- I was ready to throw the test away. Then just as fast the test line appeared purple. What??? The test line? Theres TWO lines there. TWO! I looked in the mirror to see my face pale as a ghost. I grabbed the test, clumsily walked to the desk to show my coworker the test. "Uh..... What is this? What does this mean?" That girl (name protected bc I dont want to mention anyone in here without checking with them first. Im nice like that!) was the sweetest thing. She calmed me down and drove me to Walgreens to buy a more reliable test. Again, two lines. Omg. OMG!!!! I was pregnant!!!


When it came it couldnt have been more UNplanned. I was on the pill and had pcos, This wasnt supposed to happen. But it did. And I was one of the lucky ones.


So, after going on and on about myself..... on the the page I found. Parents had posted about a Canadian radio station that was holding a contest to "Win a Baby". Heres the text ....

An Ottawa radio station is holding a controversial new contest in which the prize is up to three cycles of fertility treatments for couples who cannot conceive naturally.  To enter, couples need to write a letter to the station explaining why they need the treatments.  Finalists will need to undergo a consultation with a fertility specialist and submit a reference from a family doctor. Canada’s Metro News site reports that debate over the contest has erupted on Facebook and Twitter:

“I think we’re crossing some morality lines with this contest … imagine telling your child, you were a prize from a radio station because we had problems conceiving,” wrote Casey Schofield on the station’s Facebook page.
“When one in six couples have trouble conceiving — that’s a huge percentage,” said Hot 89.9 co-host Jeff Mauler. “If we help out those families or individuals who are looking to do this then I think those people who are against it should see the bigger picture and realize that we’re actually trying to help somebody who couldn’t do this otherwise.”

In July, a British charity held a similar contest, selling raffle tickets for a single IVF, donor egg, or surrogacy cycle."


In my opinion, I think this is a great thing. For couples struggling with infertility they are already dealing with a lot of emotions and hardship. Trying to conceive (or TTC) takes a lot out of people and puts added stress on both people in the relationship. When you think about fertility medicines, InVitro Fertilization (IVF), Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)..... you dont know exactly how much it can cost. For one round of IVF the price ranges from $10,000 to $15,000. Most insurances don't cover infertility, so the financial burden add stress, which makes conceiving harder.


For the radio station to offer a couple the opportunity to become parents, its a beautiful thing. Yet, it's controversial as many consider it a morality issue, as the atricle says.

So, what do you think?? Is this a blessing or a joke?



http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001408/
http://www.parents.com/blogs/parents-news-now/2011/09/16/pregnancy/canadian-win-a-baby-radio-contest-sparks-debate/http://infertility.about.com/od/ivf/f/ivf_cost.htm

Hot Button Topic #1 - Co-Sleeping

As soon as you make news of your pregnancy public everyone will offer advice. Some wanted, some unwanted. I like to talk about myself, so I try to offer tips as to what works with my kids. I dont expect everyone to agree with the way I do things, but hey - if we all agreed on everything the world would be pretty boring! Am I right?!?

Im a fan of controversy. I like to get people thinking. So, Im going to post "Hot Button Topis" (Or HBT). Ill bring up an issue, give a few theories and facts, and let you loose. I think this will be a good thing and maybe people can learn a thing or two. Just please remember that while is is perfectly alright to debate and comment- it is NOT ok to be disrespectful or mean.

Todays Hot Button Issue is Co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is a practice in which babies and young children sleep in close proximity to one or both parents, as opposed to a separate room. In some cultures its a natural thing all families do and theres no question in the matter. In the US theres a big debate on the subject.

If you ask professionals youre likely to get strong advice one way or the other. When I was pregnant I was absolutely, 100% never going to sleep in the same bed as my child. you couldnt convince me otherwise for any amount of money. I was too scared of rolling over on her or smothering her in blankets. Im ashamed to say it, but I judged people who did. In my mind they were putting their children at risk.


Once Delaney was born I was considering the pros and cons. I let her sleep in the hospital with me and fell in love with it. Some benefits of co-sleeping were the fact that breastfeeding was made easier and better sleep for everyone. Some cons were the risk of smothering a child and having a hard time weaning the child to their own bed when you decide its time.


My pediatrician strongly advised me not to do it. His only concern was ending up with a 10 year old who refused to sleep in her own bed. Every visit was the same.... while adjusting his eyes to read Delaneys chart he would say in a parently stern manner "Now, is Delaney sleeping in her own bed yet? Hmm?" I would be honest and tell him she wasnt and he would spend the majority of her visit telling me I had to put her in a room by herself, shut the door and let her cry until she fell asleep.


I tried this. It was one of the hardest things Ive ever done. I tried it at naptime because I didnt want to be the neighbor in the apartment complex with the kid that screams for hours. She never once put herself to sleep and I let her cry for almost 2 hours once. This definitely can work for some families (This will be another post Im sure) but it just didnt work for mine. So, co-sleep we did.


At (almost) 18 months old now we still sleep in the same bed for part of every night. Its important for us to have a bedtime routine so she knows its time to relax. Then as she drifts to sleep I put her in her crib. She may sleep in there 4 hours or 20 minutes, but every night she ends up in bed with me. I dont mind, we both sleep well. She takes naps by herself and its almost always in the big bed.


The decision to co-sleep is entirely up to the parents and the parents alone. What works for me and my family may not work for you and yours. In my case I found Dr Sears to be extremely helpful and his website alone answered most of the questions I had. If you are considering co-sleeping or have questions I would highly recommend his site. 


As for Miss Delaney.... (who does not have her own room right now) we're going to take it one day at a time. When we move and she gets her own room Im hoping itll be easier to wean her. ("Hoping" being the key word!)


I know you all have opinions on this. Whether you agree, disagree or have a "to each their own" attitude, I want to hear from all of you reading this. What do you think about co-sleeping? Have you done it? Would you if you dont have children now?


Ready, Set..... GO!


http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes
http://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/cosleeping.aspxhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping

Who Doesn't Love a Good Deal? *Updated With new Info*

***UPDATE*** I wanted to also add a quick bit of important info here. I stumbled across an amazing page on facebook a while back that I have to share with you. CouponsToTroops is a program that matches families with military families. The military can use coupons that are expired up to 6 months. How cool is that?!? I was matched with an awesome family and Ive been clipping every coupon I come across to send to them. Please check out their page and offer to help. They have families waiting to to be matched up that could use your help!

I come from a family of 5 kids. Growing up my family was poor. We
shared mattress' and sometimes food stamps didn't cover food costs for
us. One thing that helped my mom  provide for us was coupons.

As I got older (and prior to becoming a mother myself) I was fortunate
enough to afford things fairly easily.  It's not as hard providing for
just yourself.

And now here I am, a mother of 2. As a stay at home mom this is the
longest I've ever gone without working outside of the home. My way of
contributing now is by saving. We save money on childcare for both
kids and I happily clip coupons now! My awesome (soon to be) mother in
law brings me inserts weekly and when I see them in my mailbox I get
the biggest smile... :)

If you are on my personal Facebook I've written notes and updates on
how I try to save. Let's face it, whether you make 20K or 100K a year,
EVERYONE likes a good deal. I'm going to share the little knowledge I
have with you now. Hope it helps!

Since typing this I have just a few more things to add. If you have a printer you can visit some coupon sites and print out some pretty rad savings. Some stores don't accept internet coupons, so always check before checking out.

http://www.redplum.com/
http://smartsource.com/

(The following text is the note I wrote on my Facebook a few weeks
ago. It explains a few tips that help me. I'm sure there are typos... youll have to overlook them as Im too lazy to fix them right now.)

What the Dilly, Yo? **Deals, Deals, Deals**

by Tabitha on Monday, August 22, 2011 at 10:38pm

So- I like a good deal. Im what some would call "thrifty"...... Ok, Im cheap. Cheaper than Mr Krabs on Spongebob probably. But it feels good to save a dollar. Especially this day in age where the prices of everything is going up.

Anyway, Ive found a few sites and pages that have helped me save. I wanna share the little knowledge I have with you. Its not much, but its something. Now- I share. :)

http://www.amazon.com/

I LOOOOOOOOVE me some Amazon!!!!! They have more deals than youd think. Let me give you an exaple..... I signed up for Amazon Mom ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/mom/signup/welcome )

I needed diapers the other day. Like, I was looooooooow. Maybe had 10 left. I knew you could buy in bulk on here, so I checked it out. I looked at all diapers and the best deal I found was on Luvs. Delaney is a size 5 now, so I typed in "Luvs size 5". This is what it had for prices.....

"Buy new: $44.58 $37.99 ($0.23/count)
Subscribe & Save: $32.29 ($0.19/count)

2 new from $34.49"

When I clicked the lowest price it took me to the product page. On the right side of the screen in a yellow box it says "One time delivery: $37.99
Subscribe and Save: Save 30% $26.59 ($0.16/count)"

I chose "Subscribe and Save", clicked the subscribe button and added it to my cart. Before payment I had to confirm the subscription you can choose whether you want it occuring every 1, 3 or 6 months. I chose 3 in case I forgot about it.

Heres the beauty of it.... you can cancel your subscription with no penalty! So after my order shipped, I canceled the subscription Under "my account" and ta-da!!! I got 168 diapers for $26.59 with free shipping!!! To give you an idea the same item at walmart.com is $39.97.



Theres also some sites that I got to that will give me heads up on whats on sale and when theres some good freebies. Heres the links.....

http://thefrugalgirls.com/
http://fabulesslyfrugal.com/
http://dealseekingmom.com/
http://www.freakyfreddies.com/


And dont forget about craigslist. THEY always have great stuff. Just make sure to do it safely.....

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/ ( This is the Indy CL link)

Then theres Groupon. Ive gotten a few things thru them and its legit and at least a 50% savings.The main link will ask for your city. Keep in mind they also have national deals, too.
http://www.groupon.com/


And lastly, heres a few of the pages I liked here on fb. Its probably where I find most of the deals I use.

http://www.facebook.com/DealSeekingMom
http://www.facebook.com/thefrugalgirls
http://www.facebook.com/groupon
 

I know theres more, but this is all I could think of offhand. I know there are some typos, but keep in mind Im used to typing on my iphone and I also have Delaney whining in my ear. I think its time for bed. Hope this helped you guys!!! Ill add more as I remember or come across some. :)

Shots!

We are moments away from heading to the doctors office for Delaneys well child check up. This visit comes with shots......

While I could probably end this post there, I feel compelled to brag about the fact that my kid is more resilient than any other child I have ever seen. Ever.

She was born healthy and happy on a beautiful Wednesday night in March. By the time she left the hospital she had a diaper rash, a cold and jaundice. Her poor little booty was red and bleeding at times. She didn't cry much at all. When we had to take her to the hospital for days after we were released to check her jaundice levels, every time she was pricked with a needle she never cried. She even slept thru one visit!


Since then she has gotten shots at every well child check up (on a delayed schedule, but thats another post). She tends to cry as soon as the needle comes out for an average of 30 seconds. My favorite part is when the nurse that gives the shot hightails it out of there before the child realizes she was the one who did it. And why do I always thank her for poking my kid?

I expect this visit to be no different than any other. I can handle it, but with the anxiety I get before visits like this you would think I was the one getting the shots!

To all of you who have wee ones, how do you handle shot visits? How do they do?

Hi! How are y- Oh look, a yellow sponge!

My child loves Spongebob. Like.... she LOOOOOOOOVES him. I have that show on the tv almost every day. Spongebob is part of our bedtime routine. (2 books and an episode of Sir Spongy puts this kid out like a light.) There are occasions where I leave the tv on Nickelodeon for hours at a time as background noise. Little do I know this show takes up the majority of the afternoon/evening lineup.

A study done by Journal of Pediatrics this past Monday hints that Spongebob Squarepants may cause short term learning and attention issues. They say even watching for 9 minutes can have negative effects.

Really.

Ok. This show has been around since 1999. Millions and millions of kids have watched and probably been as addicted as my (almost) 18 month old is now. This is just my opinion.... but ADD and ADHD are being diagnosed left and right these days. Does anyone else find it odd? Where were all of these disorders when my generation was little?

Spongebob is a show that has been insanely popular for more than a decade. The sales of Adderall and Dexedrine (drugs used to treat ADD and ADHD) has risen 2000% in the last 9 years. TWO THOUSAND PERCENT!! Thats ridiculous!!

Anyway... my opinion is people continue to spurt out drugs and blame the poor yellow sponge. Leave Sir Squarepants alone.

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/841269/spongebob-square-pants-who-has-add-under-the-sea
http://www.drz.org/asp/conditions/ADD_ADHD_LD.asp

Me-Nutshell-GO!

My Girls

Every blog has to start somewhere, right? So, here's my beginning.....

I'm Tabitha if you haven't figured that out already. As of press time I'm 27 years old and a Mom to 1 year old Delaney and soon to be stepmom to 11 year old Macey. I'm a stay at home mom (SAHM for when I'm too lazy to type it out) who needed a hobby. Blogging beat out money laundering and knitting. So, here I be.

I figure its only fair that I share a bit of what to expect with you so you can get the full At Home With Tabitha experience..... *Enjoy.

• My girls are the coolest kids on the planet Earth and all neighboring planets. This is not open for discussion.
• I was born in and spent my first 20 years in Pennsylvania. It's soda, not pop. And tour is pronounced "tore" not "two or". (There will be a post about that in the future, I'm sure)
• I hate to use apostrophes when I type. Be prepared to see lots of Im and theyd vs I'd and They'd. I'm only using them now to impress you so you'll stay and read more. It's kind of driving me crazy right now.
• I'm opinionated. Very, in fact. And I post controversial things. Some of those things are bound to strike a nerve at one point or another. When this happens feel free to comment and let me know what's on your mind. The only things that won't be tolerated are hateful posts. You all know those aren't cool. And be nice to each other. 
• I like to use smiley faces. And little hearts. If that kind of thing bothers you, my sincere apology. (Not really tho) :) <3
• I also like to use tho instead of though and thru instead of through. Don't play grammar police, I know what I'm saying.
• I like to pretend I'm Betty Crocker from time to time and like to try new recipes. Expect some of those.
• You may find a few naughty words in here. I know I have kids and I should watch what I say. I do.... 90% of the time. You get the point.
• I'm getting married in a month. You'll hear about that. If you're not planning a wedding yourself you will tire of this quickly. I'll try to keep it to a minimum, but I make no promises.
• It is REALLY driving me crazy using apostrophes. I'm just going to stop now. Hope that's ok with you.
 

So... thats all i got. For now anyway. Im going to go off on tangents and rattle off some craziness in the posts to follow this one, Im sure. Just roll with it.Itll be worth it.